Helping someone sit down may seem simple — but for a person living with dementia, it can involve many hidden challenges. Balance, coordination, visual field changes, and spatial awareness all play a role. We asked Florence Tyloo of Dementia Partnered Care for advice.
Supporting Someone with Dementia to Sit Down
Helping someone sit down may seem simple — but for a person living with dementia, it can involve many hidden challenges. Balance, coordination, visual field changes, and spatial awareness all play a role. Sometimes, the person may simply not realise that there’s a chair behind them. Over the years, working with people living with dementia in Switzerland and the United States, I’ve noticed how often this moment becomes stressful for both care partners and the person themselves.
In this post, I’ll share two practical ways to support someone to sit down safely and with
confidence — one when it feels appropriate to offer your hand, and one when it doesn’t.
When It’s Appropriate to Offer Your Hand
Step 1: Connect First
Approach the person from the front, greet them warmly, and make sure they notice your
presence. This helps prevent them from being startled. A calm tone and a smile can
communicate safety and reassurance.
Step 2: Offer Gentle Physical Support
Once contact is made, offer your hand for support. Allow their hand to rest over yours, palms facing each other. This gentle physical connection can increase confidence and stability as you walk together.
Step 3: Provide Physical, Visual, and Verbal Cues
While their hand is resting on yours, point toward the chair — or if the chair isn’t directly visible, point in the general direction. Use short, clear sentences such as:
“See the chair? Let’s go sit down there.”
This gives the person physical, visual, and verbal information, helping them anticipate what comes next.
Step 4: Guide Their Hand to the Armrest
As you approach the chair, gently guide their hand toward the armrest so they can feel it. This gives them a clear reference point and helps them sit down with more control. If the chair isn’t noticed right away, simply walk around and try again without pressure.
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When Hand Support Isn’t the Right Fit
Sometimes, holding hands isn’t appropriate or comfortable for the person. In these moments, connection and clear cues still matter.
● Start by greeting them to establish presence and trust.
● Point in the direction you’re going and begin walking toward the chair, inviting them to
follow.
● Stand behind or beside the chair to indicate where you hope they will sit.
Final Thoughts
These are two approaches I’ve personally used to support someone with dementia to sit down — whether for a meal, an activity, or simply to rest.
They’re not the only ways, but they reflect some person-centred principles that make these
moments smoother and less overwhelming. Every person living with dementia is unique. Adjust your pace, tone, and gestures to suit their abilities, preferences, and comfort. With practice, you’ll find what works best for both of you.
Small adjustments can make everyday care interactions calmer, safer, and more empowering — for the person living with dementia and for you as a care partner.
About Florence
My name is Florence Tyloo. I hold a Master’s degree in psychology from the University of
Fribourg, Switzerland. Aside from my experience as a family member of someone living with dementia, my great-grandmother lived with Alzheimer's dementia, and my grandmother now lives with frontotemporal dementia. I have accrued years of experience accompanying people living with dementia in care home facilities, both in Switzerland and in the United States.
Nowadays, I live in the UK and offer online support to family members of people living with dementia. I offer various workshops, both related to the care partner’s well-being and to topics directly related to dementia. I also propose individual sessions, either supporting care partners’ emotional well-being or supporting them through a challenging situation with their loved one. See my website Dementia Partnered Care for more details.
Disclaimer
This article offers ideas to support wellbeing for people living with dementia and their care
partners. Please remember: every person is different. Adapt suggestions to your loved one’s abilities and consult healthcare professionals if you’re unsure about safety or medical concerns. This article is for general information only and is not a substitute for professional advice or care planning.
